Sunday, July 3, 2011

The Legend of Zelda Cartoon

So, awhile back I signed up for a Legend of Zelda collaboration. I'm gonna try not to make this a personal rant about the state of collabs on the TGWTG forums but in short they're oversaturated, never get finished, and sometimes the guy running them vanishes without a word. This collab falls into the last category. I don't know if he's having personal problems, decided reviewing wasn't worth his time, or if he's even dead for all I know because he didn't tell us anything and hasn't been heard from since December on the forums.

And so, while I have decided I'm not going to do a video review. I figured I'd still do a little something to share my thoughts on this cartoon since it gets oh so much hate on the internet.

Even though it may not be saying much, I'd like to start out by saying in actuality this was probably the most well done video game cartoon in the 80s. In spite of it's flaws, the music and sound effects always made it feel like Zelda. The character designs may not have been perfect but they were definitely more spot on then Captain N was and it had a more sensible plot drawn from the game then most the other video game cartoons of the time did.

Before I get onto the characters however I need to address one of the major complaints about the series. The lack of the Triforce of Courage. People constantly point out it's a "Tri"Force, where is Courage. It can't be Tri with only two parts. This complaint ignores that the show is mainly based on the first game and that courage was not properly introduced until the second game. There are a few references to the second game as well as a few monsters from it. But we know this show can't take place during the second game because Ganon is not dead and Zelda is not under a sleep spell.

With that said...

So many people complain about how the cartoon incarnation of Link completely ruins the character. The problem is that's implying that there is a character to ruin. Link, more then any other Nintendo character, has always been just the stand in for the players themselves.

There is a reason that the games have always had you name Link and didn't even give you Link as a suggested name for him. In fact this is why I find it so stupid when people make that joke that it should be Legend of Link instead of Legend of Zelda. The reason it isn't is because Legend of Blank Slate sounds fucking stupid.

Now don't get me wrong, I'm not saying cartoon Link was a good character. Link in this is a fucking douche bag. I'm saying there just wasn't any character to really ruin. No matter how he was written, he would have been an insult to at least somebodies vision of what Link is supposed to be. Because as a silent protagonist, everybody has a different opinion of what Link's character is.

However in my opinion Link is still the worst thing about the show. They tried to hard to make kids like him by making him relate able. They did this by making it so that whenever he wasn't saving the day, he was a lazy good for nothing doofus who just wants to lay about and goof off. A perfect example of how stupid his character is, is in the first episode when he's complaining about missing being an adventurer. He complains about being able to sleep in a bed instead of being forced to sleep on the ground, that is such a retarded statement that is only sounds like something dumb a kid would come up with. They basically said let's take the personality of a generic child, make him a hero, and remove his belief in cooties so that he actually likes girls.

Speaking of girls, that brings me to the next character.

I've made no effort in the past to hide my feelings about this version of Zelda. I to this day think she is one of the most beautiful women in the history of animation. Personally I've always found the standard game version of Zelda to have a rather creepy inhuman look to her. I know they're basically elves but there is just something about the game version I can't quite describe that throws me off.

Not only is this Zelda gifted with beauty and intelligence but she also is capable of handling herself in a fight. Which is something we can't say about the games very often. Sure there are a couple times she gets captured in the cartoon but you know what? One of the 13 episodes had her having to save Link so I think it evens out.

The biggest complaint about her, which I think is just proof people are grasping at straws to complain, is the complaint that she blue balls Link. Complaining that she's a cock tease and never giving Link his deserved reward. Which is a load of horseshit. Keep in mind these same complaints are coming from the same people who complain about how crappy a character Link is, keeping in mind what I also said about Link. Do you really think the girl should be choosing the asshole? Yeah, he has saved her a number of times but that's like saying women should sleep with every police officer who does his job. Personally I see enough women choosing complete jerks in real life, so I say let Link's desires go forever unfulfilled.

While the game's graphics didn't exactly give them much to work with. I guess we can all agree that Ganon doesn't exactly look right. But I don't care, I still love this incarnation of the villain. He's like Skeletor on crack and steroids.

Seriously, they took what at the time was kind of just an unknown generic evil entity and made him into a fairly amusing Saturday Morning style villain. He may came across as downright insane but at the same time, a lot of his plans were far more interesting then a lot of the other villains of the cartoon era. He definitely had more sense then the cartoon versions of King Koopa or Mother Brain (I still love when he bitch slapped her in the crossover) and his evil jar was an interesting way to explain in the cartoon why he never runs out of minions.

The only real complaint I see people raise about him is how he gets a little teleport crazy. But come on, if you had an abundance of magical power, can you really say you wouldn't abuse it as well.

There are a couple other characters I could address like Sprite who is annoyingly cute or The King who I think ended up being the archetype for the Sultan from Disney's Aladdin. But they really don't have enough of a presence to really talk about much.

I guess I'll wrap this up by saying, I still really don't understand why so many people hate this show. Sure it's cheesy at times, but so was almost anything from the 80s. Too many people are judging this show while thinking about all the games that came after it and you can't do that, it can't draw on things that didn't exist yet.

Until next time everybody...

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